I am sure you have noticed, if your boy is a handful, that it isn’t helpful to focus on the negative: lecture and noticing misbehavior. Unfortunately, this is often parents’ and teachers’ automatic response.
But, what is “normal” boys’ characteristics:
These “boy” traits can be as assets in sports and were advantages during most of human evolution. Unfortunately, the expectations of most schools do not align with these natural boy characteristics. This can make school a frustrating experience for active boys who are frequently “in trouble” for behavior that doesn’t mesh with classroom expectations.
Boys’ auditory and cognitive processing differences can make the situation worse – when teachers and textbooks don’t target content and delivery to boys’ actual level of understanding, boys will tend to shut down – or act out. Is this YOUR boy?
There is hope. And he can be more successful – at home and at school, with a couple of simple changes:
Make a point of providing frequent opportunities for physical activity.
Boys need quality, one-on-one time with the father or other adult male.
Catch your son doing the right thing – look for even the smallest steps in the right direction and reinforce them with Descriptive Praise.
Master Parenting has a lecture / seminar about “Bringing Out The Best in Boys,” that can be brought to your church, mom’s group, MOPs group, or PTA meeting. I am also available for one-on-one coaching and even Family Counseling, if necessary (most issues can be improved with a simple coaching session for the parents through the simple techniques, I teach). Please contact me at 757-903-2406 for initial evaluation.
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About Amanda Deverich, LMFT, NCC Marriage & Family Therapist and Professional Counselor 757-903-2406
Amanda draws upon formal counseling theory and education, on the job training and personal life experience. She is skilled in structural family therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and Christian counseling. After earning her graduate degree from The College of William & Mary, she starting using the same methods that she was teaching her clients in her own home (for over 15 years!) – and parent after parent that she has worked with say the methods changed their lives. These methods WORK!